Sep 17, 2012

FAQ's

Last night a total stranger made me feel pretty lousy about myself while asking me questions about my life.
Seriously within 15 minutes of meeting this person, I wanted to cry
Sometimes people ask me questions that I'm sure they don't mean to come off as insensitive...
but I think there's a time when you just need to stop asking. If that makes any sense at all. 
So I'm here today to answer some things that some of you may be wondering...just so we're clear. 
I may come off as a bit intense, but that's just because I'm tired of feeling judged. 
So hopefully this makes me feel better. We'll see.

Why did you move from Logan to Bountiful? 
Both of our sets of parents are here in Bountiful/Salt Lake so we were driving down here almost every single week. We literally never had time to relax on the weekends, as most of them were spent in the car. Also, Jon has always wanted to go to the UofU. He really just came up to USU because that's where I was at the time he returned from his mish. Now that we're here, my feller can truly bleed red. 

Have you graduated?
Nope, not with my Bachelor's degree at least. I do have my Associate's degree plus many credits beyond that, but wouldn't have my Bachelor's for about 2 more year- thanks to not being able to make up my mind in the beginning about what I wanted to do.

So why did you stop going to school? 
{this one is awkward to answer, especially when I have to really explain myself}
When I started college I didn't qualify for any grants or good loans, so I worked all summer to pretty much pay for housing and living expenses and the rest of my schooling was paid for with unsubsidized loans. If you don't know what those are, you're lucky. Basically they started accruing interest from day one, so today I have about $4,000 in debt JUST in credit. With that on top of the loans itself, I feel like I'm drowning. 
So we would really like to get that paid off asap, and I can't really work full time and pay for life and such if I'm going to school. 
Also, Jon and I had very strong feelings that I should stop going to school so we could start a family. 
If you'd like to know more about that you can ask me. 

When will you back to school?
Haha. Probably not for a while. Like I said, debt doesn't just go away. 
I would definitely like to be a teacher in the future but can't see myself doing that before having children.
I'd really like to go back when I'm older and the kids are in school. 

Isn't it just so hard to find a good job?
{this is usually asked while I'm at work and someone sees me}
Well I actually have a good job that pays pretty well, I feel so lucky to have this job. Yes it's too bad I look super great in my uniform { :) } but I'm paying the bills and am so grateful I am able to do so. 

Why don't you have any kids yet? 
I keep wondering the same thing.

Why would Jon go into dentistry, his family surely doesn't need another one?
Working on people's teeth kind of comes naturally to Jon, maybe this is because he has worked with his dad and brother for so long. It is a fantastic job that will support our family down the road. Hopefully no one thinks we are choosing the easy road, because it is an extremely expensive one to get down.
If you'd like to talk about your thoughts on how dentists are selfish, I'll let you talk to Jon :) 
This summer really gave Jon a new perspective on being a salesman. We at least know that he does NOT want to do that forever {besides selling your skills, of course}
We are hoping that a few years after dental school  we will be in a place {financially speaking} where Jon can get an education in music/sound engineering. He has always dreamed of doing this, so it will happen. We're just trying to choose the best order in which to do things.

 Why would you dye your hair black? 
{this is usually asked by little kids. Good thing they're cute ;)}
Well it was an accident, I was definitely going for dark brown. 
Now that it has been a couple days it has actually kind of grown on me! 


So today I'm feeling extremely grateful for a supportive husband and family and friends that are so understanding. Without these people I might just be hiding from the world. 
Here's to gaining some confidence and knowing just what to say. 


10 comments:

Stacie said...

Becoming a dentist is not an easy road! It's not like your family, even if they are dentists, are going to pay $400 k in loans for you, go through the torture of class for 9 hours straight than study every night, and see patients! People that think u should choose a career because 'thefamily needs it' totally bug me! When people ask me very personal questions... I just ask them right back! It takes the stress out of the situation. Next time someone says "why don't u have kids" say "why aren't u married or have kids?" they usually will atop asking questions because they realize how rude they are being. You have a great life! You have so much to look forward too. Everything will happen at the right time.

Nicole Smith said...

Okay, so ever since my family moved to NSL and we were in the same ward and such I have always looked up to you! I still do! You and Jon seem so happy together and definitely have a beautiful life! I'm sorry about people going too far with personal questions- I totally understand how that is. But things truly happen when they're supposed to and everything will work out! :) I hope that you guys are doing well and are loving being back from Texas! It was so good to see you the other day, yogurt land is sounding pretty good so Jav and I will have to stop by haha.

ChanFlitton said...

love you smash!

Chels said...

I feel ya girl. I always want to hide when people ask where Jord goes to school (slcc) and if I'm in school. Now is such a transition time for us and we our working on where we want to be so stop making me feel bad for where I'm at! Bleh. You're fantastic and I love you.

The Blacksmith Shop said...

Ashley, I am so glad that you blog so I can keep up with you. And I completely understand the feeling judged part of this post. I would love to finish school and be a teacher, but sometimes life comes in a different order than everyone else thinks it should. That is exciting about starting a family! You will be an amazing mom. I miss having classes with you! Good luck with the future missy!

Nick and Brittany said...

Yay for a new post! Boo for it being about insensitive peeps!

Was this person young? Thy may lack knowledge and life experience. I remember when I was 18, I thought I'd be married, have a career and have 3 kids. All by the time I was 25! We have an idea of what life is supposed to be like. But until we actually live it, we have no clue!

I'm sorry that I too have lectures you about schooling. I guess I'm speaking from my experience of taking a 1 year "break" tht turned into

Nick and Brittany said...

Oops. My phone is a spelling and posting disaster. My break turned into many many years. Once you throw kids in the mix, it's nearly impossible to find time to sleep, let alone go back to school. This is your life and you only get to live it once. So do it the way you want to do it. I agree with Stacie, start asking them questions. But seriously, you're doing great!! I'm so proud of very thing you have accomplished this far. Ps: I like your hair alot. You're a hair chameleon. You can pull anything off!! Love you!!!

Heidi said...

I agree with Britt, any hair style/color looks great on you! I also agree with Stacie. Family asking questions is one thing because we care about you and of course want the best for you! (I, like Britt have talked to you about school but it's because we care about you and just want the best for you). Strangers don't care and honestly don't have to know. You don't have to talk to any strangers about any personal questions! They should mind their own business. Love you and hang in there! Dish it back next time someone asks you a question like that. Until then, keep blogging! I've been waiting for another post! (Oh, and medical school/dental school is NOT easy. Those people honestly have NO idea)

Ben and Karin said...

Good for you Ash! I don't think you need to explain yourself to anyone. You guys are smart and doing what you feel is best for you, what else matters. You're good people trying to do the right thing, anyone who wants to judge you for that... is dumb ;) ps cute hair

Aubrey said...

Love you Ash. Only you can know what is best for your life. We all make decisions that are different, but that's what makes us unique. If we all did the exact same thing, what a boring world this would be. And nothing is more ignorant than people asking you when you're going to have children. For crying out loud, you haven't even been married that long. Once you have kids, they're yours forever. Even if the journey to getting pregnant is long (which it is for many women), enjoy the special alone time with your husband. And your hair is always beautiful. I should be more brave and try new things like you.