the belly and a confession

This is mainly for my sisters/family and friends who are away and aren't really able to watch my belly grow... 

you guys will probably laugh at the early pictures, I really don't know why I even took them! 

 I mean really, it's silly that I even thought I looked slightly prego!

You can see a little bump there, right? 

I was not feeling too hot about myself this week, but hey I like the "U" that baby boy is sporting!

Here I am today, finally looking pregnant {right??}

I'll be honest one of the hardest things for me {mentally} this pregnancy has been the weight gain.
Weight has been one of the things I could actually have total control over in my life,
now it just feels out of my hands.
I didn't start gaining any until week 18 I think,
 and it just seems like it has been sky rocketing ever since!
Last time I went to the dr I was shocked- for reals. I was just over half way through and I weighed more than half the total weight I'd like to gain. aaand don't you gain more in the 3rd trimester?
Crappola!
That's when I knew it was time to start walking/exercising a bit more.
Yeah sure, I would say it's because I want to feel good and energized...
but deep inside I just don't want to see the scale jump 10 more pounds at my next appointment!
There is my confession. Please don't judge too harshly!
you're probably rolling your eyes right about now, and I accept that.
And I am getting better at accepting the fact that you gain weight when you have a human inside of you.
If the scale does jump up dramatically at my next appointment then I guess I'll just throw in the towel and holler "bring on the weight!"
because maybe there isn't much I can do about it after all ;) 

the little feller so far

Hey guess what? I total stranger asked me if I was pregnant today. I said, "Lucky for you, I am!" I wanted to give her a high five or something, because all I've been hearing is 'when are you going to look pregnant?' and 'are you sure there's a baby in there?'

My response? "You should see me when I'm naked!"

ha... that would never happen.

So here we are at 23 weeks! It's crazy to watch my belly grow. 

I'm grateful it's growing mainly because there is a little human in there and not entirely because I'm loving my coca cola a little much. 

I started feeling the little feller move around 16 weeks. At first it mostly felt little pokes all around my lower belly, but turned into stronger pokes and ROLLING around 18 weeks. 

Jon started to be able to feel the little movements around 19 weeks, but the babe likes to act like a statue as soon as one of our hands tries to feel him. 

The past couple of weeks I have been getting really sharp pains in my right upper back. Seriously? I was expecting my lower back to hurt but definitely not this. My dr said as long as my breathing is still normal, we're good! She also said working on my posture may help...I was slouching pretty badly when she gave me this tip :] 

Little does she know slouching actually lightens the stabbing pain momentarily! 

BUT I have to continually remind myself how lucky I have been in this pregnancy. I was basically just nauseous through the first trimester with very little {vomiting} and the week we entered the second trimester the nausea subsided! Hallelujah.

For the past ten weeks I've pretty much just been reeaallyy tired and on edge {mood wise} and I get heartburn at random times.

I'll take that over feeling like I'm on a roller coaster anyday! I don't think my hubby or employees would totally agree... sorry guys :/

We can't wait to meet him! It's crazy to think we only have 4 months to go. 

I wonder if this time will go fast? 

Hmm... probably not! 

Oh by the way. Jon is becoming an AMAZING foot masseuse. I am so lucky :)

Mothers, any tips on good leg exercises/movements to reduce cramping and swelling? 

Any of you experienced this sharp upper back pain? I'm assuming it's my ribs expanding... since that seems to be the case with the rest of my bod!

Is it normal to feel the babe move lots and lots for a few weeks, then just little bits here and there the next?

I just started going on walks 3-4 times a week {we are still in week one, ha}. Would it be okay to work up to a slow jog? Or is it smarter to just walk? 

The results are in...

I'm a Dreamer!

All of the "pregnancy boards" will tell you that crazy dreams are really common during pregnancy.
I can most definitely testify to that!
The craziest so far?
When I gave birth to a... dog.
The more I think about this dream, the funnier it is to me.

In the dream I didn't get much farther in the pregnancy than I am now, and the dog came out a beautiful german shepherd boy that was almost full grown.
Uh... How did he fit in there?
I remember being shocked and happy, and a bit disappointed that he had pointy ears instead of floppy ones.
He would pee around the house a lot, but this was okay since he was a newborn. And the diapers we had purchased didn't fit at all.
We took a lot of pictures, and as I shared them online people were confused and not so loving of this new babe of mine. They were convinced that I was never pregnant and that we had bought this dog to make everyone think the pregnancy was for reals.
Poor puppy I mean baby. Hopefully you at least have floppy ears. ;)

When I woke up and told Jon about it he said he probably would not love that dog very much {he isn't the biggest dog lover, like me}. I quickly added that he helped make that puppy and he would have no choice but to love him.

The end.

What the heck? I love dogs, but I'm 100% sure that I wouldn't want to give birth to one... ever!
The dog did have the name that we will most likely use if this sweet potato {the size this week} is indeed a boy. So maybe that's what my dreams are telling me.

What about you, any crazy dog bearing dreams you've experienced?

Have you heard?

Have you heard the news? 

We are having a baby! Due the beginning of July.

Jon and I are really excited and anxious, but we still have quite a ways to go. 

On being prego so far...

The first trimester was pretty much horrible. 

I was lucky to not be a barf-face at all times, but I constantly felt like I had just gone on an incredible roller coaster at an amusement park, and felt like I could be a barf-face at any moment. 

Almost on the exact day I entered the second trimester I felt a lot of relief. 

I am still incredibly tired and Mrs. Grumpy Pants, but I can actually get through the work day now.

I will definitely be taking advantage of the next couple months and working as much as possible until the queeziness returns. 

As far as a baby belly goes...I just look really bloated. Yayyy..!

Luckily my pants still fit, but it is probably time to start investing in some comfortable mommy bottoms. 

When the Dr told me I wouldn't show until week 20 I was a little bummed and didn't really believe her.

Let's just hope in the next four weeks I start to look pregnant and not just chubby in the mid-section! 

We are in week 16, the babe is about the size of an avocado.
We will find out the gender in about a month! 

I can't wait to see our little Feller on screen, maybe it will feel more legit ;) 

What are your guesses... BOY or GIRL? 

Empire State of Mind

I've been home from New York for a month now, and decided I guess it's time to post about it :)

My sweet Mother in law planned a once in a lifetime girls trip to New York in November. 

How cool is that?

I'd never been before and have always dreamt of going, so to say I was excited to go is quite an understatement! 

It was so great to spend 5 days with the Feller Females, they are always lots of fun and are wonderful examples to me. 

When we flew in it was really really snowy. It was sad to walk the streets because we saw quite a few homeless people shivering and trying to keep huddled in a ball to stay warm. 

That was the only day that it was snowing, other then that it was just a bit chilly. 

Luckily we all had our coats. 

While we were there we went shopping on canal street and got some great deals, went to the 9/11 memorial, ate yummy Italian food, and saw the Broadway show "Nice work if you can get it" which starred Matthew Broderick! I'm sad I didn't take any pictures while we were there, other than the not-so-flattering ones of me and two sistas. You wouldn't want to see them anyway :)

We saw a couple movies {which is one of my favorite things to do..}, ate SO much, shopped on 5th avenue, and visited Saint Patrick's Cathedral.

The Cathedral was really beautiful.

We saw the Christmas Spectacular at the Radio City Music Hall. I've heard of the Rockettes before, but never knew how amazing they are! If you can youtube some of their dancing, do it... it's so impressive. 

The show was a lot of fun, and had a great message about Christmas. 

We saw Newsies! This was one of my favorite movies as a kid, so seeing it LIVE was awesome. 

I may or may not be following some of the dancers on Instagram now ;)

There were at least 2 dancers from So You Think You Can Dance in the show, which was fun to watch! 

We visited the Empire State Building, I can't believe how high up we were. 

I couldn't get Alycia Keys song out of my head... Concrete jungle where dreams are made of! 

We did a bit more shopping and walking around the city. On Sunday we went to church at the temple then packed up to head home. 

By the end of the trip I felt happy that I don't live in a big city full of cigarette smoke, but I'm so glad I was able to walk those streets and really experience the kindness of New Yorkers first hand. 

I loved riding the Subways and having NO idea where I was. We were lucky to have one sister who has been there multiple times and kind of knew the system! 

I just have to say how grateful I am for such wonderful in-laws. 

I am truly blessed in the family department! 

Thank you for making my first girls trip in the family one to remember! 

L{8}LY

If we are friends on instagram, you've seen all of these. 

If not, here are some recent {or two month old} pictures of life lately...

Pedicures with Britt a couple days before...

 The Holt's became 4! Welcome, Liam! 

Lots of hanging out with my favorite Avery, isn't she cute? 

 No dishwasher= lots of dishes every other day!

 Haha. This happened on a day at work that wasn't my very fave. Fun to laugh about it now!

 My last visit to see Jon in Texas {he's home now...told ya these are old ;)}

 A little golf with the Smith's. They just moved into our ward! 

Church is so much more fun with friends. 

 A walk around temple square

 UofU vs USU. I wasn't sure who to cheer for...

Proud of my Aggies! {don't tell Jon}

 More time with this cute girl.

 The Witch Festival at Gardner Village, super cute witches {and kiddos!}

 Liam is already 2 months old! 

 I went to California for work for a couple days.

Yogurtland took us to a Padres game! 

 The view from the condo. Good morning!

 We celebrated our birthdays, can't believe we're 23!

Last week I treated myself to a glorious pedicure. 

After an hour I knew all about the nail guys non-existent love life. 

It was kind of depressing! But felt oh so good :)

Anyway, that's lately...kind of! 

Hopefully I can think of some fun things to actually blog about. Any ideas? 

MIA

I swear I haven't died or anything, just busier than I thought possible.
All I have to say today...was I as unreliable as a teenager as most of the ones I happen to have hired?
Today when five o'clock rolled around I was planning on going to my in-laws to hang out and possibly make donuts. To my surprise I learned I'd be closing.
Yay for 16 hour shifts! I've done too many in my day..or in the last 4 months.
I'm seriously trying to look on the brighter side about these silly work problems, but there doesn't seem to be another side.
How do you guys keep your cool? Maybe management isn't for me?
Where can I possibly find employees that won't complain about every Little thing, or get sick two hours before their shift every other week?
I'm just grateful I have two employees (besides my hubby and sis in law) that I can count on, and no they are not my little brothers.
Tomorrow will be better. For now, I think I'll sleep for 16 hours.
Ps wow you could can call me Nancy, Negative Nancy.

FAQ's

Last night a total stranger made me feel pretty lousy about myself while asking me questions about my life.
Seriously within 15 minutes of meeting this person, I wanted to cry. 

Sometimes people ask me questions that I'm sure they don't mean to come off as insensitive...

but I think there's a time when you just need to stop asking. If that makes any sense at all. 

So I'm here today to answer some things that some of you may be wondering...just so we're clear. 

I may come off as a bit intense, but that's just because I'm tired of feeling judged. 

So hopefully this makes me feel better. We'll see.

Why did you move from Logan to Bountiful? 

Both of our sets of parents are here in Bountiful/Salt Lake so we were driving down here almost every single week. We literally never had time to relax on the weekends, as most of them were spent in the car. Also, Jon has always wanted to go to the UofU. He really just came up to USU because that's where I was at the time he returned from his mish. Now that we're here, my feller can truly bleed red. 

Have you graduated?

Nope, not with my Bachelor's degree at least. I do have my Associate's degree plus many credits beyond that, but wouldn't have my Bachelor's for about 2 more year- thanks to not being able to make up my mind in the beginning about what I wanted to do.

So why did you stop going to school? 

{this one is awkward to answer, especially when I have to really explain myself}

When I started college I didn't qualify for any grants or good loans, so I worked all summer to pretty much pay for housing and living expenses and the rest of my schooling was paid for with unsubsidized loans. If you don't know what those are, you're lucky. Basically they started accruing interest from day one, so today I have about $4,000 in debt JUST in credit. With that on top of the loans itself, I feel like I'm drowning. 

So we would really like to get that paid off asap, and I can't really work full time and pay for life and such if I'm going to school. 

Also, Jon and I had very strong feelings that I should stop going to school so we could start a family. 

If you'd like to know more about that you can ask me. 

When will you back to school?

Haha. Probably not for a while. Like I said, debt doesn't just go away. 

I would definitely like to be a teacher in the future but can't see myself doing that before having children.

I'd really like to go back when I'm older and the kids are in school. 

Isn't it just so hard to find a good job?

{this is usually asked while I'm at work and someone sees me}

Well I actually have a good job that pays pretty well, I feel so lucky to have this job. Yes it's too bad I look super great in my uniform { :) } but I'm paying the bills and am so grateful I am able to do so. 

Why don't you have any kids yet? 

I keep wondering the same thing.

Why would Jon go into dentistry, his family surely doesn't need another one?

Working on people's teeth kind of comes naturally to Jon, maybe this is because he has worked with his dad and brother for so long. It is a fantastic job that will support our family down the road. Hopefully no one thinks we are choosing the easy road, because it is an extremely expensive one to get down.

If you'd like to talk about your thoughts on how dentists are selfish, I'll let you talk to Jon :) 

This summer really gave Jon a new perspective on being a salesman. We at least know that he does NOT want to do that forever {besides selling your skills, of course}

We are hoping that a few years after dental school  we will be in a place {financially speaking} where Jon can get an education in music/sound engineering. He has always dreamed of doing this, so it will happen. We're just trying to choose the best order in which to do things.

 Why would you dye your hair black? 

{this is usually asked by little kids. Good thing they're cute ;)}

Well it was an accident, I was definitely going for dark brown. 

Now that it has been a couple days it has actually kind of grown on me! 

So today I'm feeling extremely grateful for a supportive husband and family and friends that are so understanding. Without these people I might just be hiding from the world. 

Here's to gaining some confidence and knowing just what to say. 

My Feller

I have seen Jon more in the past two weeks than I have all summer long. 

He made a quick trip out this way just to say hi for a weekend,

and a week later I flew out there for a quick trip to say bye to Texas.

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, we went to a trampoline house for an hour. 

if you're interested in going, it's called Airborne. it's in Draper. and it's lots of fun. 

{and you might feel too old to be there but go ahead and ignore those thoughts.}

 Oh HEY

you can practice your kewl trix

and you'll even get to be a hot sweaty mess afterwards

It was so good to just spend a weekend with him. 

Thanks to my mom I was able to fly out to Dallas for free! 

She even figured out all the flights for me and made sure I got there without too much delay.  

Thanks mom!

I got out there Tuesday and stayed until Saturday. 

It was so much fun and I loved having a quick break from work!

We... - saw People Like Us in the dollar theaters, which we both loved.

- slept in much later than acceptable each day.

- chilled at the pool.

- saw Bourne Legacy, which we both hated.

- spent time with some of the great friends we have made while working out there.

- WENT TO RELIENT K at the House of Blues.

- only splurged on one meal, it was Olive Garden {we like to eat out too much so we're cutting back}

- spent all but 7 hours together.

during which he was working. and I was getting a sunburn at the poolio.

 Pretty sure we wouldn't have worked out in h.s. if I didn't approve of this band..

good thing I LOVE them!

 what.a.hunk

 We went with our friends, Ben and Kyle. 

I've known Ben longer than I've know Jon {12 years!} 

and Jon has become good friends with Kyle over the summer.

And to the right is the one and only, Matt Thiessen. 

Admit it, you agree that his hair is beautiful. Let's convince fell to grow his out again!

POOF

During the concert I saw one of the guitarists throw his pick into our section and it totally hit a girl in the face!

Don't worry, she didn't even notice.

After the concert I looked on the ground where she was standing and there it was!

I've never {jk} seen Jon so happy.

We love Texas and could totally see ourselves there in the distant future,

the only thing is it's quite a long drive to and from Utah {family roots}

Some things I will miss about the great state of TX:

- the heat! it's so much better than the dry Utah heat.

- the kind people.

- I felt very safe there. weird?

- affordable living, and it is FAR from ghetto. 

- sodapalooza. .49 cent drinks at the gas station, my kinda heaven.
- having a pool in your back yard. whether or not you share it with 117+ other people, it's great.

~

I'm curious to see how attached we are to each other when he gets home {in 4 days}

If I learned anything from this Summer, it is that I am so grateful for the relationship I have with my feller. 

we indeed make each other better, 

and I never realized how true that was until we were separated for many weeks at a time. 

 I guess there is another thing I learned : We are HORRIBLE at talking on the phone.